Sports jokes

Orphan

Why can't orphans sign up for sports?

They have to have a parent's signature.

Baseball

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

Game

I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.

Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡

Memes

Job

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

Sexist

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

Kobe Bryant

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

Penaldo

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

Olympics

It's the Olympics.

Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.

Mum

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

Parachute

If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.