Sports jokes
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.