Sports jokes
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What is the Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Why doesn't the Chinese have a cricket team?
It's cuz they always eat the bat.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? 'Cause they can’t find home plate.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.