I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Joe, I wish you had never asked me to scout for a fresh tight end.
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
Whats the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies I dont have a sports car in my garage
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
