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Sport jokes

Her: I love Kobe Bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter

Her:.....

Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳

Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

I was born and raised in Newcastle.

My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.

I was about to go to sleep, but then I remembered my idol has 0 G/A, and it's mid-November. Thanks, Pessi, for ruining my sleep! 🤬

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

"You did great!"

"Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"

"Nah, that's okay."

"Here's the quarterback."

"You don't want the quarter?"

"No! Quarterback!"

"Huh?"

(Crashes) (screams)

"Yo, sorry 'bout that."

"You think he's gonna be mad?"

"Who? Baldi?"

"Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"

(Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)