What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
What type of sound does your crack make?
Answer: Quack!
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
trolololololloollllol
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
I tried to catch yodeling, but he evolved to yodingalig.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
