Sound jokes
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?
They moan louder than your speakers.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you wantβhe canβt hear you.
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
Secretly, Iβm a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, βIβve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!β
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.
A B πΏ.
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
I like the satisfying sounds of your butt being spanked.
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
Uff.