A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
