SOS jokes

Why is the USA so bad at chess?

Because they already lost two towers.

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.

Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.

A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"

Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.

Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.

Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.

Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.

My life is so sad it's because you're in it.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.