One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?
"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"
I hate it when I don’t understand someone.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.
Hello.
Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!
There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."
Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?
Ariana
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
