Someone jokes

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?

Ariana

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

Hello.

Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!

Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."

Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.

What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?

WhatsApple.

What do you call someone who is half a Jew?

Jew-ish.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone unplugged the WiFi router.

What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?

They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.

What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?

Joshua Metcalfe

When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."

Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.

I hate it when I don’t understand someone.