Someone jokes
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men. That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
Why do orphans love going to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
like if you know someone that is emo.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.
Why are orphans prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart. I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Why do orphans love to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
Why do orphans like being criminals?
Because then someone actually wants them.