Someone jokes
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.