Someone jokes

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?

Because they want to call someone "daddy."

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

Why did the orphan go to church?

To finally call someone father. 😂😂

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

Why do orphans go to church?

So at least they will have someone to call father.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Rules of dark humor.

1. Everything shall be touched.

2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.

Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.

Sans: I am doing something.

Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?

Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.

Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.

Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.

What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.