Someone jokes

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia.

How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?

They have a dot in the middle of the head.

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

Why did the orphan go to church?

To finally call someone father. 😂😂

The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Why do orphans go to church?

So at least they will have someone to call father.

Rules of dark humor.

1. Everything shall be touched.

2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.

Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?

Because they want to call someone "daddy."

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.

Sans: I am doing something.

Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?

Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.

Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.

Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.