Someone jokes

Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.

Tip for Kindness for the day.

Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.

Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3

How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?

The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.

What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?

WhatsApple.

Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?

Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.

Orphans go to church to call someone father.

I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!