Someone jokes

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?

I hate it when I don’t understand someone.

Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it had its ion someone else.

Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!

Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.

I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.

Someone asked me my gender... I said, "Woah, man."

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

A nugget.

Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."

So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.

But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f

... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.

Orphan: Help, I'm lost.

Someone: Wears your parents.

Orphan: >:(

What do you call someone who fixes walls?

Juan, probably.

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.