Someone jokes

If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

BUT!!!!!!

I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.

Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.

Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.

Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

Hello.

Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."

Someone on here said it previously:

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

I'm as bored as heck, someone want to chat?

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?

A steamed vegetable.

Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."

A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"