Someone jokes

Why was the Orphan boy gay?

So he can call someone Daddy.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

It's sad someone has ligma.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

Why did the orphan become a str1pper?

So she can have someone to call daddy.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

Why do orphans pray to God?

So they have someone to call father.

If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

Get a head in life by decapitating someone.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

A nugget.

why do orphans go to church?

because they can finally call someone "father."

Why do orphans go to church so much?

So they can have someone to call father.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Like if you meet someone emo.