Someone jokes

For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.

What do you call someone that no one loves?

An orphan.

Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?

A: When they are falling from their balcony.

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

So they could finally call someone "daddy."

Why do orphans go to church?

To call someone "father."

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.

Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

Why do orphans love going to church?

So they can call someone "father."

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"