Someone jokes
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."