Someone jokes

Why do orphans go to church?

To call someone "father."

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?

A: When they are falling from their balcony.

Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁

I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

Why are Nepalese bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their king!

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their 👑.

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.

For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"