Someone jokes

Computer

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

Orphan

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

Hitler

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be single than be with someone like you.

Momma

Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.

Memes

Idiot

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

Joker

What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?

The Joker.

Hairline

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

Depression

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.

Friend

Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins.

Lumpy.

Nilly.

Ninty Minty.

and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!

Suicide

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

Guy

Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.

Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!

Wait, what Billy?

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  • Stripper

    How do men like their women? Striped.

    How does a priest like their children? Clean.

    Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

    What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

    Swing

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣

    Bastard

    How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?

    The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.

    Mountain

    Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?

    Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.