Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
When I try to roast someone; Boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii you stink!
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.
A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!
Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
