Someone jokes
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.