Someone jokes
One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.
If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
911.
911 who?
You said you would never forget.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.