Someone Jokes

Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣

Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?

Because they want to call someone "daddy."

Why do orphans like to be gay?

So they can call someone "daddy."

Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.

His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

Someone bullied a disabled person.

The disabled person said they can't stand it.

Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.

Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he had someone to call Father.

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

why do orphans go to church?

because they can finally call someone "father."

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?

Josef Vasicek.

I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.

Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.

I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.

Feel free to comment.

If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.