Somebody jokes
I'm so frickin' bored! Please, somebody want to chat? PLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
I want him to make me look like this 😔
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!