Daddy bear said, “Somebody’s been sleeping in my bed”. Mummy bear said, “It was probably your whore Linda”.

If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orfan, what are they gonna do… tel their parents

Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the skittles were but she answer everything was black and white

How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona? A Cor-owner.

I was at my boyfriends house and I thought he was cheating on me and he was on the phone with somebody he said he’d be over there soon. so i asked him if I could see his phone he said no and then we fought about until I seen his gun and because I thought he was lying to me I shot him,went through his phone and his friend was still on the phone.


a girl looked in the fridge she got mad that somebody at the last ice cream cone she ran into her sisters room and said this is why your fat the fell down the stairs good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

The date is April 1st Somebody asks you what’s you are doing “I guess you could say I’m… fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“