Somebody jokes
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
That shit was trash. You can't handle me.
Hold up. Aren't you Nathaniel B.?