Society jokes
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
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Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
An Irishman walks into a pub.
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Why do Indian men prefer fat women?
Because they worship cows.