Society jokes
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Why can't orphans go to the store? Because they throw everything around.
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Why does an orphan have an iPhone XR for their first phone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.