Society

Society jokes

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Things said by racist aliens:

"Some of my best friends are Green."

"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."

"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."

"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"

"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."

"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"

"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."

"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"

"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

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    • Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

    That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

    If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.

    In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

    I mean, I don't see why not.

    Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"

    The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."

    After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.

    You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.

    Answer: Nazi.

    Why do disabled people always get picked on?

    Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

    9/11 happened... right?

    The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.

    How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?

    Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

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    • A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.

    Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.

    The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.

    The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”

    My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

    Me: "Your mom gay lol."

    My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

    You: "Your mom gay lol."

    How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

    “You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

    What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?

    One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.

    Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

    A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.