Society jokes
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.