Snack jokes

What does Mars like to eat?

A Mars bar!

Nuts, nuts, nuts!

What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

What is the best part of being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family sized.

Why can't orphans have family size chip bags? Because they have no family to have them with.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Bagel."

"Bagel who?"

"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"

What do you call chill legumes?

Hippeas.

This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"

The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.

Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

Please leave a comment.

Bye!

What's a prostitute's favorite snack?

Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.

Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.

I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"

What's the best part of being an orphan?

All the chips and candy bars are family sized.

Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?

Well why are there no Momtarts?

Because of the PASTRYarchy!

If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

Boys eat Frito Bandito, but men eat Guido Bandito.