You pecan do it!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?
If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
My Butterfingers slipped.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
What do plus a nut and a pee make?
Pee-nuts.
Cheese.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
Nuts, nuts, nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
