Snack jokes

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.

One was a salted peanut.

What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?

A walnut.

What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?

Neurospicy.

What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?

Nacho cheese.

Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cash.

Cash who?

No thanks, I prefer walnuts!

You pecan do it!

What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?

One is a snack cracker.

The other, a crack snacker.

Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?

'Cause he was in need of a light snack!

What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!

My Butterfingers slipped.

Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!

And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*

What do plus a nut and a pee make?

Pee-nuts.

Cheese.

What does Mars like to eat?

A Mars bar!

Nuts, nuts, nuts!

What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"

What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D