Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
You pecan do it!
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
Banana!
Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
I like Cheetos.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
