Smart

Smart jokes

Ghost

    • Person 1: How smart are you?

    Person 2: Really smart.

    Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

    Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

    Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

    Girl

    • I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?

    smart

    kind

    sweet

    caring

    loving

    mature

    Train

    • Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

    Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

  • 3

    • Coconut

    • My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

    So I threw a coconut at her.

  • 2

    • Indian

    • Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.

    One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"

    The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."

    The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"

    The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."

    Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"

    The not so smart Indian replies,

    "Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."

  • 0

    • Sis

    • So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."

    Dolphin

    • Why are dolphins so smart?

    Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

  • 0

    • Lawsuit

    • A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

  • 1