Sleep Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin' B. Anthony!

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

So a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist. “What seems to be the problem?” The therapist asked. “Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” They said. So the therapist replies, “oh dear, that must be a problem.” “Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open and the light is really bright.”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

if you dont like the video in 10 second james charles will sleep with you tonight

Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon. "What the heck are you doing here?" "I couldn't sleep."

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

I love going to sleep at night

A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed.

Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: you can't!

Stranger 2: you can

Stranger 3: how?

Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too.

Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters

Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let's try this experi-

(the chat has been closed by stranger 1)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Good day today love 💕 you walk in love 😻 day and a walk home 🏡 night night I did not get snow ⛄️ I love 💕 it is the day that we get a tree 🌲 I have to go get some sleep 💤 was good day at school today but I’m going to be

We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible Addison:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!! Layne:IKR Mom:SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYIMG TO SLEEP Addison:ok fine Layne:look at this joke Addison:HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA *Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*

What are you doing son.it has been an hour and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

I aced my poker test...

my teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffee-n...

do you get my puns... no, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don't serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.