Sleep Jokes

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand? Breakfast in bed!

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

2 old people sitting on a bench one turns to the other and says my butt fell asleep the other says yep i heard it snore a couple of times

When the Boogey-man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Sleep, but make it forever

How do you get a Koala to fall asleep? Sing a koala-by.

This is a poem my younger sister when she was three, recited to a crowd and I will never forget it. It is very short though.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

Q:what's the hardest thing about losing your virginity A:making sure she doesn't wake up

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep.

You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl