Me: Mom I’m tired

Mom:then go to sleep

Me: No you don’t understand-

Jeff did you hear ther making a film about Jimmy savile it’s a very touchy subject. Yeah I did Gary but did you hear the reviews on the bill Cosby film people said it was so boring it put them to sleep

So Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora’s house. So later that night Dora’s mom hears someone screaming go Diego go for at least a couple of minutes and then it stops and goes back to sleep. But then hears the same thing a couple minutes later and walks in and hears go Diego go so she walks over to Diego’s sleeping bag a looks and it’s empty so she walks over to Dora’s sleeping bag and looks in and See’s Dora getting f… By Diego and hears Dora saying go Diego go while moaning.

What are you doing has been an hour and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum actually I want to see how I look while sleeping…

Why did Stephan hawkings die … because he pressed shut down instead of sleep

So a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist. “What seems to be the problem?” The therapist asked. “Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” They said. So the therapist replies, “oh dear, that must be a problem.” “Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open and the light is really bright.”

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin’ B. Anthony!

Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon. “What the heck are you doing here?” “I couldn’t sleep.”

Good day today love 💕 you walk in love 😻 day and a walk home 🏡 night night I did not get snow ⛄️ I love 💕 it is the day that we get a tree 🌲 I have to go get some sleep 💤 was good day at school today but I’m going to be

Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said don’t look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said “What’s that?”. Timmy’s dad said “that’s Mr.wiggles”. Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy’s mom said don’t look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said “What’s that?”. Timmy’s mom said “that’s my garden”. Timmy’s mom said don’t look up. Timmy looked up. Timmy said “What are those?”. Timmy’s mom said those are her headlights. Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said don’t look under the covers. Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled “MOMMY, MOMMY, MR.WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!”

Stephen Hawkins death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

Confucius say, man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger.

what do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time! Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.

Father: Sorry

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister? Nothing, he just started wanking.

A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed.

Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: you can’t!

Stranger 2: you can

Stranger 3: how?

Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too.

Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters

Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let’s try this experi-

(the chat has been closed by stranger 1)

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur: a dinosnore!

A cow is at his friend’s house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch)