It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
What time is it when you walk in to the wall ? Time to get to bed 🛏
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
teacher: "you know you can't sleep in my class" boy: " I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
1 like= 1 kids in the bed with me
I slept like a log last night.......woke up in the fireplace
Confucius say, man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger.
Kid: " Mom I had a scary dream can I come sleep with you and dad " Mom: " sure sweetie sleep in the middle " Kid: " Dad can you get the remote out of my back " Dad: " That isn't the remote "
*Weird background music*
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
Why did Stephan hawkings die ... because he pressed shut down instead of sleep
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed
An asain went to bed at 9:00 woke up at 6 people say he still sleeping
Me: good night everyone My friends and family: night Me: *gets in coffin* My family: *stares at my friends* you aren't going to do something?!? My friends: *to my family* nope, this is normal.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
How to get a girl in three steps: Step 1: grab a pillow Step 2: grab a blanket Step 3: keep dreaming
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF!
They toss and turn to the sound of Thunder, but I got watermelon to sooth my slumber!
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch)
