Skydiving jokes
The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.
The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."
One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.
Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."
"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?
Ground beef.
If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.