Skydiving jokes
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!