Size jokes
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
Yo forehead so big you look like Aeri.
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.