Singer jokes
I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.
"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?
Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.
What do you call a singer who can't make a song?
Taylor Swift.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case he had to drop some BOMBS.
Mariah Carey is a more legit rapper than rapboat.
What's a rapper's favorite type of CANDY?
Mic Drops.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough.
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!