How are mountains able to see?
They peak!
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
How do mountains see? They peek.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
