Why couldn’t the orphan find home?
Didn’t have eyes.
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
