why did the ckicken cross the road .......to get to the other side
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.
I woke up on the floor this morning. I think I woke up on the wrong side though.
