Side jokes

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.

Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?

Because they don't have them on the inside.

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.

Why did the chicken cross the road?...

To get to the other side.

What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?

Organ harvesting.

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

Why was the train late?

It kept getting sidetracked.

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.

What is the origin of the glory hole?

The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.

"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.