Side

Side jokes

Van

  • Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

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  • Fat

  • You’re so fat,

    that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

    Book

  • "If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

    Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

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  • Brain

  • You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

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  • Jedi

  • Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?

    If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.

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  • Doctor

  • There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

    When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

    The doctor said, "You're all right now."

    Monkey

  • I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

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  • Wife

  • My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

    Foot

  • Why did my foot cross the road?

    Because your ass was on the other side.

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  • Mom

  • Why did your mom cross the road?

    You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

    Orphan

  • What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

    1. All your snacks are family sized.

    2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

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