Side jokes
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
Why did the impostor vent... to get to the other side?
Why did the emo cross the road?
To not get to the other side.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."