Shutting jokes

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

Shut the hell up with all these Stephen Hawking jokes, hahah. I wanna kms.

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?

Shut off his computer.

What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?

Panera is dead.

Shut your transparent hairline up.

"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!

Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?

Shut up and pass me the note.

"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"

"Shut up and pass me the mop."

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."

Me: I have a dream.

Mom: What?

Me: For you to fucking shut up.

What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?

"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."

What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."