There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”
Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging
- Mommy, i want a bicycle !!
- Shut up Sam! You’ve already have your wheelchair!
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest? Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
- Mommy, what will i be when i’m grown up?
- Shut Up Sam, you’ve got cancer!
What noise does Steven hawkings make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up.” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
“Mommy, mommy, where’s my school dress…ewww!” “Shut up and leave the bedroom.”
One day leaf asks mom, “mom, why am I named leaf?” Mom says “because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” The next day feather asks mom “ mommy, why am I named feather?” Mom says “ when your were a baby a feather fell on your head.” The next day brick asks mom “rhsisvrkanx” mom says, shut up brick!
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: “Shut up … you’re next!”
What noise did Steven Hawkings make when he died? Windows Shutting down
Why did Stephan hawkings die … because he pressed shut down instead of sleep
So three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother, the first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So the mother replies “Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead.” The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So the mother explained “Same as Daisy, when you we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead.” The third daughter then said “ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb” so the mother said “Shut Up Brick!”
kid; I don’t want to go to the movies mom; shut your mouth and clean my ROOM
kid; but mom I don’t want to go to the movies mom; SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM YOU DONT HAVE A CHOISE
Two cows were hiding.One said:"Moooo" The other one said:“Shut up! We’re hiding!”
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you’ll never get caught.