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Jokes
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Shutting memes

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Sex

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A wooden door hanger, similar to a 'Do Not Disturb' sign, hangs on a doorknob. It features text in all capital letters and a graphic. The top part of the sign has text partially obscured by the doorknob. Below the doorknob cutout, the text reads 'IF THIS DOOR IS SHUT', followed by a graphic illustration of a man and a woman in a sexual position. The text below the graphic reads 'I'M POUNDING A SLUT'.

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Hair

blach66 · 3 years ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says: "Just take a minute and think about Riley's retarded hair cut. Shut up look at your greasy ass hair." The next message says: "Have you not released I don't give a small singular shit about my hair." The following message says: "There's probably shit in your hair." Finally, the last messages read: "It looks better than whatever dead raccoon has been super glued onto your forehead. But Yeah probably."

Math test

Wade · 2 years ago

Spider-Man and Deadpool are sitting at desks in a classroom. Spider-Man is writing on his test with a pen. Deadpool is writing with scissors. There is text that reads: "Pssst, spidey, what'd you get for number seven?" "Dude, shut up! I don't wanna get in trouble!" "I got Waterloo." "This is a math test!" Are we not going to talk about the fact that deadpool is writing with scissors.

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Teacher

PurplePanda · 3 years ago

when ur bored in class so u post this and people start comenting the best shit

A screenshot of a comment section, where a user expresses frustration about a teacher who won't stop talking. Other users respond with crude suggestions to shut her up.

Cat

Wade · 2 years ago

An illustration shows a man in a white coat stating, "I don't know if the cat is dead or alive until I watch inside the box." A box is below with a text bubble stating "Miaow." Another bubble says "Shut Up."

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Cat

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a social media post where someone describes sticking their finger in their cat's mouth while it yawned. The cat then puts its paw in the person's mouth. Below the post is an image that says, "Intelligence 100."

Daughter

Caitlyn 🐈🦋 · 3 years ago

I bet my mum thinks this 😂

The image shows a yellow square with black text stating, "Having a teenage daughter is a lot like your house being haunted. Every now and then you see a figure in the corner of your eye, followed by a moaning sound, and then a door will slam shut."

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Speech

Toast ツ · 2 years ago

$A man with dreadlocks and a gas mask is speaking. The text box below his head says: "[Speech 100] \"Bear, bull, bear, bull, bear, bu-\" shut the fuck up, man."$

Life

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 3 years ago

shut the fuck up you pussy ass fucking bitch motherfucking parent depleater

The image shows three dogs, each labeled with a word. On the left is "my car", in the middle is "me" and on the right is "work". "Me" is in the middle pulling a toy labeled "money" away from "my car" and towards "work". The text above the dogs says "How life is going right now".

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Cola

Gummy gummy gummy bear · 1 year ago

A four-panel comic strip shows a person in bed, first trying to sleep while a brain asks a question, then the person says 'yes' and asks the brain to 'shut up'. In the next panel, the brain questions why the person drank a liter of cola before bed, and the final panel shows the person awake with wide eyes.

Flu

RapBoat · 2 years ago

Chat is this real??

A tweet by Carti Fans with the handle @NeonCarti that says 'Playboi Carti predicted Covid-19'. The tweet includes a screenshot of text that reads 'In 2020 a flu-like disease that began in Wuhan, China (yuh) will cause a worldwide pandemic and shut down all major events for months (slatt) and cause major economic collapse (buh buh buh)'. Below it says 'PLAYBOI CARTI, "FOREIGN" GENIUS'. The picture features Playboi Carti with a peace sign.

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Penguin

Anime Boy · 2 years ago

A 3D rendered penguin is wearing a cowboy hat and a sheriff star. It holds a gun. Above the penguin, it says "SHUT" and below the penguin it says "UP".

Identity

The RĒAL RB · 10 months ago

Proof that Heroin Monkey is OPAL

A screenshot of an online chat conversation. Multiple users are present: IndieRockBoat, RapBoat, Opal, Cosmo the Intern, and Heroin Monkey. The conversation shows IndieRockBoat repeatedly asking "Any of you listen to indie rock?" and then stating "sorry I live in McDonald's my internet is bad." RapBoat then comments, "That's how I know it's Heroin Monkey, he ALWAYS does that." Opal then insults RapBoat with crude language, which RapBoat then repeats back, seemingly as if impersonating Opal, and adds further crude remarks. The critical exchange occurs at the end: RapBoat asks, "You want me to pull an AG???" Heroin Monkey replies, "yes." Immediately after, RapBoat types, "Heroin Monkey yes." Below this, a final line states, "Bro forgot to switch alts."

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Fentanyl

Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

A crude drawing parodying the Pixar movie Inside Out. Sadness is looking worriedly at Joy in the control room, asking: "j-j-joy...? are you sure popping fent in a nasty club bathroom is gonna make Riley happy..?" Joy, looking wide-eyed and aggressive, yells back: "SHUT THE FUCK UP STUPID BLUE BITCH RILEY CAN QUIT WHENEVER SHE WANTS!!!!!!!!!!" while pressing buttons on the console. Disgust is seen in the background looking horrified.

Government

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A multi-panel image featuring stills from "The Lord of the Rings" movies, with overlaid text. The first panel shows a cloaked figure asking, "Who are you?" The second panel shows Aragorn declaring, "I am Aragorn, King of Gondor." The third panel shows the cloaked figure replying, "I didn't vote for you." The fourth panel shows Aragorn stating, "I was given Andúril by Elrond, Lord of Rivendell." The fifth panel shows the cloaked figure responding, "Listen, strange elf lords distributing swords is no basis for a system of government." The sixth panel shows Aragorn yelling, "Shut up!" The final panel shows the cloaked figure shouting, "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

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Magazine

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

Wallace from "Wallace and Gromit" is sitting and reading a magazine titled "Cheese Monthly." The text overlay reads: "Bro shut the fuck up. I'm reading Cheese Monthly."

Aragorn

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a series of panels from a movie with text overlay. The first panel shows a character in dark clothing asking, "Who are you?". The next panel shows a character with long hair, stating "I am Aragorn, King of Gondor". The third panel has the same long haired character, but the text says: "I didn't vote for you." followed by: "I was given Anduril by Elrond, Lord of Rivendell". The fourth panel says: "Listen, strange elf lords distributing swords is no basis for a system of government." and shows a character with a sword, the next panel below this one shows the same character shouting: "Shut up!". In the last panel the character says: "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

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Standard

Anonymous · 2 months ago

A four-panel Wojak comic strip. In the top left, a blonde female Wojak in a swimsuit asks, "Why do I have to swim against a man? It doesn't seem fair." In the top right, a muscular, masculine-looking Wojak in a swimsuit is labeled a "beautiful woman," while other Wojaks scream, "Shut up you transphobic TERF!!!" In the bottom left, the same blonde female Wojak is now in military fatigues with camouflage paint, stating, "These exercises are too hard." In the bottom right, the female soldier is surrounded by smiling male Wojaks, who say, "It's okay, we can just lower the standards for you." The image includes the watermark "@MIDNIGHTMITCH".

Fridge

Why should you care · 1 year ago

this is especially fun with human body's

The image shows a meme. The text says "WHEN SOMETHING CLEARLY DOESN'T FIT IN THE FRIDGE SO YOU FORCE THE DOOR SHUT AND LET IT FALL OUT ON SOMEONE ELSE". Below the text there are two faces, one is a yellow cartoon character with a wide grin on the left and another one is a cowboy with flames around him on the right.

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Fan

RapBoat · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post about a female Uzi fan asking for song recommendations. A user offers to pay for a video of her feet with Uzi playing in the background. Another user then says they're shutting down the subreddit for a week.

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