What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?: She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff; they found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
have you ever heard steven hawkings sing? “head, shoulders, wheels and frames wheels and frames”
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
What does Stephen hawking eat for his breakfast lunch and dinner
His shoulder
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
What's steven Hawking shampoo?
-Head and shoulders 😊
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
