New Shoulder Jokes

The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders is all the time.

You know how Joe Biden is happy When he is rubbing a little girls shoulders and eating ice cream.

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

How do you piss off a disabled person -you put the cookie on the other shoulder

What did they find in Paul walkers glovebox? His head and shoulders.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam, when he stuck it in I started to squirm so he held onto my shoulder. I thought it was going well.

Until he grabbed my other shoulder as well. ( If someone can write it better go ahead, I know it sucks)

Q: What did the late Canibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Why do orphans cry alone. They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?

Heads and shoulders.

Did you know Paul walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his head and shoulders on the dashboard.

I'm still wondering who took jeasus' sandles

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder 🤔

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body. I gave her a shoulder to crayon

Sad news, my obese parrot died today. Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, whats your secret?" Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall. The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty. After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks. Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!".