Shot

Shot jokes

Hey Gwen... I had a friend named Gwen in preschool.

The preschool was Cascade Christian and in Washington (which is close to Oregon. I read in a chat that you live there.) This is a long shot, but I think you might be the same Gwen. If not, ok.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.

Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?

Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.

Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.

5 minutes later

Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?

Teacher, the one sucking it?

Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.

Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

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    • - All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.

    - Giggling like a room full of fat kids.

    - Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

    Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

    Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

    A dwarf walks into a bar.

    He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.

    Mother got shot, damn.

    Father got shot, damn.

    Sister got shot, damn.

    Brother got shot, damn.

    Auntie running away with a shotgun!

    Why do school shooters have the best shots?

    They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

    There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

    A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.

    "Was it hung?" her friend asks.

    "No, he was shot."

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