Short jokes
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.
A B 💿.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Good Morning! Have a Great Day!
#Ijustwokeup
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.