Short jokes
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
Bend over and spell run.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
Attention everyone. Please look at the comments and click the link. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
Gay jokes are not funny, CUM on guys!
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Mountain Dew was a real mountain.
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.