Short jokes
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
Hi 👋 I have some good
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
Yo momma so dumb, she failed movie day.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"