Short jokes
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
I don't have time to write this joke.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.