Short jokes
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.