Short jokes
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
I like penguins.
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
Things we all do:
Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣
I do this too often!
Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.