Short jokes
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
The Harry Potter fanbase.
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.