Short jokes
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?
A Mexican.
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.