I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.
Dark jokes are like water some people just don't get it
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots
i dont struggle with self harm, i do it everyday
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
1 like = 1 more child in my blender
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
The twin towers was basically angry birds but in real life
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke:")
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest so i went as a plane, it didn't fly to well with people.
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
