Short jokes
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Robert Scott is a NumNut.
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
Error 404 File Not Found.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
Fun game to get.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips? Parent Signature: _______