Short jokes
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic. Hehe.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.