Short jokes
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.
My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
Jesus stinks so bad he killed all living things in Heaven.
I'm so smart, wanna know why? Because you're gay.
Your mama.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
Tate
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
You look tall for being 432,450 miles tall!
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
Monky.