Short jokes
Latest news: a new planet has appeared close to Uranus.
Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?
Because he's British.
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
Why do I have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy?
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
Shout out to johnny4488 for commenting on my last post!
What do you call a Chinese boxer?
U lamb chow.
Oh, look! It's Uranus!
Beatles
Are cool.
Why was the toilet angry?
Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>
"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.